Back in the day, if there is such a thing for a person my age, I used to read movie reviews. Like the films themselves I read reviews for entertainment, for I always found it funny when a “serious” reviewer would tackle a film like “Independence Day” and judge it upon its artistic and cinematic merits. Obviously, some films lend themselves to being critically reviewed where as others, like “Independence Day,” are reviewed more as a formality. With the advent of the Internet and movie review sites like Rotten Tomatoes everyone with two eyes and a broadband connection can play the role of Roger Ebert and be taken seriously to a certain degree. In some instances viewer reviews are given more credence than those written by so-called professionals for they’re coming from the mouth of the common man, someone like you and me. However, having been on both sides of the equation, first as a reader and now as a filmmaker constantly being reviewed I’ve learned a few things about film reviews and the people who write them.

1. Reviews will make you crazy.

They absolutely will. Reviews, like many forms of psychological torture, are designed to get under your skin and drive you completely and utterly bat shit. My first film was semi biographical in nature and was set against one of our nation’s great tragedies. Having lived through the real event I knew going into the film that it was going to be polarizing and at times difficult to watch. Audiences were either going to side with me and my reasoning for telling the story or they were going to blast me and write the film off as blasphemy. Knowing this I thought I was somewhat prepared for what was around the bend. Truth is, I wasn’t.

It’s one thing to rationalize to one self the possible outcomes of your actions; it’s an entirely different thing to face them head on. For instance, after a special screening of my first feature there was a Q&A session where I was overrun with praise and congratulatory remarks for the finished product as well as myself. Afterwards, and while still riding a wave of good will, I read a review in the paper by a critic who was in attendance. The review was not kind. While not devastatingly negative the review did pull the film (and my real life) apart and outline where seemingly both had gone awry.  For the next several weeks it seemed to be equal parts positive and negative when it came to reviews. It got so bad that I was thrown into a deep funk and began second-guessing everything that I did or was about to do for I had no earthly idea what the right move or call was. I can not put into words how utterly surreal and psychologically frustrating it is to have two people talking to you where one thinks you’re the bee’s knees and the other would rather punch you in the face for having made them endure two hours of what they view as torture.

2. Every review is subjective…even the professional ones.

A lot of people forget this, especially filmmakers. There is no reviewer school or degree in reviewing anything let alone films. Hopefully, a professional movie reviewer has a degree in either English or film studies but a lot of the time they don’t. Many big name reviewers started off small, in local papers or magazines, just trying to pay the bills while they worked towards the bigger job or better assignment. It doesn’t take much these days to become a film critic or movie reviewer outside of watching a boatload of films and being able to compose a cohesive sentence.

Now, do I think all film critics or movie reviewers are full of crap? Not at all, in fact there are several that I admire and read regularly. No matter how much credence I choose to give these writers I never forget that I’m reading someone’s opinion, an opinion that can be swayed by their relationship to the filmmaker(s) on down to the theater chairs not being comfortable enough.

3. Consumer or viewer reviews are how you can tell if a film is truly good.

Bull shit. In some ways these reviews are even less reliable then those written by paid professionals. While there is no reviewer boot camp those who review films for a living have the experience and the ability to better tune out distractions (media hype, environmental distractions, techno wizardry etc) and focus more closely on the projected image and experience. A single parent at their wit’s end after being forced to see “Harry Potter” for the umpteenth time is probably not going to be the best judge of the film’s overall quality.

Furthermore, since everyone and their mother have now been given the power to be an armchair critic (an evolutionary relative of the armchair quarterback), many chose to use their power and soapbox to penalize or punish those for doing what they themselves can not or worse, wish they could. There is no shortage of know-it-all individuals out there in cyberspace with too much free time and one to many Red Bulls making it their personal mission to hate or hate on whatever someone else may deem credible. I recently came across a T-shirt that said, “I hate bands that don’t even exist.” I found this shirt to be hilarious for I know far to many people who think and act this way and seemingly have no filter when it comes to sharing their distaste for anything, especially music and movies, that seem to have a fan base greater than one individual…themselves.

4. Positive feedback travels by mouth whereas negative feedback travels by Internet.

When people connect with something they tend to want to share it with others in a more personal manor, say face to face, where as when someone hates something they tend to want to share it with the world. I don’t know why this is; maybe it has something to do with the Internet. Never the less, positive word of mouth travels by word of mouth and negative impressions travel via the Internet.

Ever notice how the Internet has become an increasingly vile and spiteful place? Because of its largely anonymous nature the Internet has become a playground for peoples’ inner asshole. Growing up I was always told if you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all. That doesn’t really help anyone get better or learn from their mistakes if you’re always sugar coating things, it’s like your third grade teacher telling your parents at a parent teacher conference that you have “potential.” Maybe the saying should go, if you don’t have something nice to say at least be constructive. Then again, the word constructive can be viewed so many ways, which is why I fall back on this saying my grandfather used to tell me, “it’s better to be thought an idiot then to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” I’m not sure if he made that up or got it from a bumper sticker somewhere in his travels but it’s a saying that has stuck with me and one that I think everyone should keep in the back of their heads before posting anything on the Internet.

5. Do not feed the animals.

This may sound like a weird statement to make in an article about movie reviews but I feel it’s probably the most important statement and lesson I’ve learned since becoming a filmmaker. Not every film you make or participate in is going to be well received, hell; you may even make or work on a real steaming pile of crap someday. You’re going to get negative reviews, its like death and taxes; it’s not a matter of if, but when. When you do get a negative review it’s important that you, yourself, keep it in perspective. One way to do this is to never read your own reviews, but we both know that isn’t really realistic. Another way to look at it is this; you’re being reviewed, which means someone out there is watching. You have an audience, which is more than what the majority of independent filmmakers have these days, so consider yourself fortunate. What you shouldn’t do is go on the defensive and respond to your would-be detractors because you’re only going to open yourself up for more spirited discourse and in some cases attacks that ultimately have NOTHING to do with your film or even really you.

If you do feel the need to say something to a reviewer or armchair critic you should always start by thanking them because win, lose or draw they did take the time to view your work and that’s something you should acknowledge, beyond that keep it cordial and understanding. Don’t go after someone’s opinion like it’s fact because it’s not.

6. Take everything in stride and move on.

This last bit really needs no explanation. The most important thing to remember as a filmmaker or artist or whatever is to not get wrapped up in your own press whether it is good or bad. Be thankful that people are talking about your work and tuning in but more importantly always be looking ahead to the next thing. A film can and will be discussed at nausea, however you only have so much time on this hunk of rock to be creative or do what ever it is you chose to do with your life so don’t waste a minute of it reading about what you did, move forward with what you’re going to do.

It’s important to just take everything that may be written about you, good or bad, with a grain of salt and in the proper context. The most important thing to remember is that if your film is being reviewed it means it’s being watched and that’s all any filmmaker can hope for.

As always, thanks for your support, take care and stay tuned…

Andrew